Hubby and I were talking about the adoption situation in their household. His Aunt wants to adopt a baby. He was asking for my opinion in the situation.
One of her Aunt's friends informed them about a newly born baby in a hospital who is up for adoption. The mother of the baby does not have the financial capacity to support the child. Her Aunt, after seeing the beautiful baby girl, had the good intentions of paying for the hospital bills and adopting the baby. Sounds good right? A good Samaritan. Her Aunt consulted them (her kids and hubby) about adopting the baby but towards the end of their conversation, her aunt told them that they should help out as well on taking care of the baby.
Hubby was "adopted" by her aunt. He lived with them as long as he could remember. So for hubby, it is paying it forward.
Anyway, cutting our discussion short, I told him that a baby is a responsibility and he should not pressure himself in saying yes to her Aunt. I advised him that the decision should come from her aunt, not from him nor from his cousins.
Eventually, her aunt decided to adopt the child.
Last Tuesday, I had a chat with my officemates over coffee. She saw the ring in my finger and asked me if I have any plans on getting married with my partner. She said that gay marriage is legal in Brazil where she lives. I told her that gay marriage in the Philippines is not yet legal and even if it is, I don't have any plans of getting married soon. Maybe sometime in the future, but not in the near future.
She then asked me if I have plans in adopting a kid.
At my best friend's birthday party, his fiance opened the topic of adoption. He said that they talked about it and they have plans of adopting a kid in the future. He said that in their relationship, eventually, a kid will bring them together in full circle. He asked one of our friends and he said he has no plans. He then looked at me and asked me if I have plans. I took a long sip of red wine and just shook my head.
I have my priorities set in the next couple of years - climb higher on the corporate ladder; get healthier; build stronger relationships with my family, friends, and with my partner; and, invest on something. Adopting a baby is not on my list yet. It's not because I'm afraid of responsibilities and commitment, but it's because I am not ready yet. And partly, it's because of my HIV status. Until they find a cure, my answer to adoption is no.