The holidays are over and it was fun. 2009 was a rough year, a tough one. 2010… bring it on.
December 31 was not as festive and as exciting for me. I was supposed to meet up with friends but they changed their plans and decided to go party with other people. I was bummed of course because I was all dressed and glammed up and ready to go but what can I do. I stayed home and watched DVD. Fun noh? I waited for other friends to text me about their plans but it was getting too late so I decided to just suck it up and stay at home. It’s not the first time that I’m spending the new year in my bed alone so it’s all good.
Around 3AM, Pooh Bear called me up, tipsy and all. I was already sleeping but I won’t pass a call from me pooh bear. We talked like high school kids for about an hour. It was nice. I miss pooh bear.
New Year’s morning was quite different. Woke up, had lunch, popped my pills and ARV and had my poi exercise. R, my non-poz friend who cancelled our gimmick, texted me – “Sorry, na-karma na ata ako sa ginawa ko sayo.”
At first there was an evil laugh in my head – wahahaha, buti nga syo. But then I got all concerned. R is not just a friend, he’s one of my urban family sis and so I asked him where he was. I know he’s intoxicated and quite possibly under the influence of E. It’s 1PM and you just can’t walk the streets all drugged and high….
He said he was in Pasay road, trying to shake his hits off. I asked for another friend of ours who was supposed to be with him and he said B left earlier… OMG…. B left? And no one stopped B.
I got all confused and mad with the group that they were with that night. In the parteee scene, no one must leave unless everyone’s back to their normal self. B leaving earlier and R walking the streets of Makati still high on E is not good.
I called R and asked him what happened. I then called B and asked him where he was. Both apologetic to me, but that’s the least thing that I’m concerned of. It’s both their safety. I then told B to meet up with R and go straight to B’s pad. I told them that I’ll be there as soon as possible. Ate will be there for his two bebes.
I showered, packed my bag for a possible overnight stay, packed my meds, etc. Took a bus and an hour or so later, was on B’s pad.
I asked what happened and my jaw dropped. Wrong… just wrong. B and R got all depressed on the first day of the year.
To keep the spirits up in a lighter mood, we decided to have drinks. We then talked about the stuff that happened in 2009. A recap. But then R started to get all emo. I saw him staring at me a like a sad dog, mouthing “I’m sorry” a number of times.
At first, I told R that everything’s good. That ditching me was not okay but it was done already. I don’t hold grudged, I don’t focus much on hate. All is forgiven. But R sunk into his emo-ness even more.
For about 2 hours, I gave R the speech. I may look weird, eccentric and all, but I make sense about reality… and I am not mediocre. It wasn’t hard talking to R… making him realize that we don’t owe anyone anything, and we’re but responsible first for our own happiness before others. That it is okay to be selfish. That it is okay to create mistakes. That tomorrow will be a better day.
